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February 21st, 2009
01:07 pm
RL
So yesterday evening Mum and I picked Chloe up and we went to the goodbye Mass & party for Fr Phil. We had determined in advance that we would arrive early and that I would ring the bell and co-ordinate everyone- my seniority gives me that, but also because we had not been informed as to whether the servers from other churches were coming and if I was already dressed and doing stuff it would lessen the potential for disgruntled shit-stirring from certain parents (not all of them, but one pair in particular) about their poor darling not getting as much participation. (Because, you know, that's what altar serving is all about *rolls eyes* not about being HUMBLE and SERVING WELL...noo). Anyway we hadn't been asked by anyone but knew somethign hectic was bound to happen. Four priests in various stages of panic is bad enough.
There was no offertory procession, because no one had informed Mr N that the should be and he assumed not as there was no collection- I even spotted people loitering at the back in a disgruntled manner when they realised there were no gifts when if they'd had the sense to arrive early and look AT THE TABLE THEY STOOD NEXT TO before Mass we might have sorted something out.
So it went that we ended up with 6 servers, myself included, including a disgruntled BratChild (our cross to bear) who I ended up dragging around and basically sorting out mid-step and she still managed to start fiddling with her shoes when she was by the credence table *headdesk*.
It worked though, it went off well and Fr Phil was very much lauded and there could be no doubt of how much we care about him and that was the important thing. The minor hiccups were mostly ignorable and the majority were not visible to all and sundry, which is always important.
After we'd tidied up we went for the party next door and enjoyed the food and chatter, even if it was cramped and then we took Chloe home and all collapsed into bed as it was despicably late!
Today is Jordan's birthday so I walked to Zog's house to post his card. We've given him money this year which we don't usually like to do but I hadn't really seen anything jumping out at me for him and he'll need the money when he goes to Italy soon. (Lucky sod).
Fandom
Well I posted a fandom!secret and got insulted by people who either:
a. misinterpreted the secret (thus proving themselves to be the neanderthals their language implies)
or b. were the kind of people who were I was annoyed with for taking some random thing too seriously
I was quite upset by this, really, because the whole original reason for making a secret had been upsetting enough but being called names by random idiots is never pleasant. Of course, I do infact keep a list of commentors, complete with names when provided, of any secrets I like (most of the commentors are lovely and it's purpose is to remind me how cool that person is in case we ever get talking) and so now, of course, They Are On My List as well as In My Fandom Breathing My Air. *evil face*
I'm not really going to do anything, because fandom is petty and pissy enough without me acting like a child about it, but I still don't think I'll be reccing certain people's work too much in the future (actually I think they mostly wrote stuff I didn't like, which makes it even better really).
conclusion: Stuff You, Wankers
</fandom>
RL
I've got loads of work to do today so I best get cracking on it. Mum's signed us up to lead a stations of the cross session on Friday *baleful glances in mother's direction* and by us I mean altar servers and, by altar servers I mean me for definite.
So now I've got to write some prayerful meditations on each station. And also I finished the main body of The Altar Book but haven't done the Holy Days in Holy Week, which are complicated and I only got the old sheets yesterday afternoon. I also owe people letters *guilt*...that might happen tomorrow- day of rest and all that, I always find it a good day for correspondance.
Current Mood: sneezy and a little sad
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06:26 pm - A Collection of Blasphemies
The scene: I am at my computer, surrounded by 2 childrens bibles, and photocopies sheets from the four gospels. My mother stands against the radiator holding a prayerbook.
Me: I'm not writing that
Mum: But that's what it says in mine
Me: Jesus receives the cross? It's not a present with a bow on. No. It's 'is given his cross to carry' or nothing.
Me: [typing and reading aloud] The third station: Jesus Falls for the First time. *scrabbles in notes* I've got nothing in here! [types] The cross was very heavy. Jesus fell.
Mum: No I've not got anything either
Me: You do realise we have to come up with three different ways of saying this?
Mum: O.o [pause]....fell, tripped and stumbled!
Me: *facepalm*
~
Me: Simon! Ooh! There's actually stuff in my books about him
Mum: Me too, now we just have to pick which one
Me: Well this one says that he was African.....where's Cyrene anyway?
Mum: *shrugs*
Me: *picks out one of the children's bibles* "Simon was strong and broad-shouldered. He carefully lifted the cross from Jesus' torn shoulders and hoisted it onto his own. Together they walked the rest of the rough road to Golgotha"
Mum:....no...I think not
Me: Bit too Mills and Boon-Gay Subsection
Mum: *laughs*
Me: And they walked off into the distance...together!
[laughter]
~
Mum: That bit sounds rubbish!
Me: Don't tell me, TELL THEM *points at gospels* they wrote it!!
~
Me: [on Joseph of Arimathea] So...A follower of Jesus, called Joseph...had a tomb? and ....
Mum: Read out what your lot say
Me: John says "After this, Joseph of Arimathaea, who was a disciple of Jesus- though a secret one because he was afraid of the Jews- asked Pilate to let him remove the body of Jesus. Pilate gave permision and so they came and took it away. Nicodemus came as well-the same one who had first come to Jesus at night-time- and he brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, weighing about a hundred pounds-"
Mum: UUrrrgh. No. We don't need all that lot!
Me: Ok. Well, Mark says "It was now evening and since it was Preparation Day (that is the vigil of the sabbath) there came Joseph of Arimathaea, a prominent member of the Council, who himself lived in hope of seeing the kingdrom of God and he boldly went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Pilate, astonished that he should have died so soon, summoned the centurion and enquired if was already dead. Having being assured of this by the centurion-"
Mum: Can't any of these people CUT TO THE POINT???
~
Me: [reading the same in Luke] "The women who had come from Galilee with Jesus were following behind. They took note of the tomb and of the position of the body."
Me *makes 'Walk Like an Egyptian Pose'
Both of us: Hysterical Laughter.
~
Me: *flips through other children's bible* I....now remember why I never liked this one. JESUS IS BLOND!
Mum: *looks at nativity picture* and about twelve months old
*we flip through the pages*
Me: You think more people would have noticed him growing up as THE ONLY BLOND IN THE VILLAGE
Mum: Are they all like that?
Me: Yes...Oh no- look, here's another blond one
Mum: That must be John
Me: No doubt. Bleaching habits about. Look *points to another one* that one's BECOMING BLOND. It must be Simon Peter.
Mum: I suppose they're using blond in place of haloes
Me: That....really doesn't make it better. In fact, it makes it worse.
Mum: True.
Me: Published in 1960s i Chekoslovakia....well that just makes it even WEIRDER
It took some time, but my initial drafting of the fourteen Stations of the Cross is sorted. No doubt in punishment for my continued blasphemy and making fun of St John and suchlike, I now can't stop sneezing.
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